This contains part of my personal testimony. It’s taken me a lot of strength and faith to open myself up to share my story! Hang in there with me. I think you’ll find it very helpful.
I was just pondering the other day of how powerful a tool rejection is for the evil one. I looked back over my life at the power rejection has had over me. Over who I’ve been. I got to thinking. The power over our rejection belongs to whomever we give it to. When I was a child, I didn’t know any better, and I let the evil one have it. And rejection and I have always been very close enemies.
When I was a very young child, my father walked away from me. I know a little bit of his reasoning, but since he’s passed, I can’t know for sure. I longed for my father, but he always had an excuse to not see me, though he lived less than twenty miles from me.
My step-father came into the picture when I was just three-years old. Enter constant rejection. Name-calling, insults, no true affection, bursts of rage, drinking, and the list goes on. I needed someone to take on the father role for me, someone to show me who I was. Rejection.
Over the years through my misery and countless sleepless nights, I prayed and prayed for God to rescue me. For my mom to leave him. For him to crash into a tree when he was driving intoxicated at night. (I know, it’s awful. I was a desperate child, filled with hatred). Nothing. Now, I didn’t know much about God. I didn’t really have anyone to teach me His ways. I always knew He was there, though. I’ve never questioned that. But when I didn’t get the answer to my prayers, I figured He didn’t care about me. All the things I’d been told must be true. Stupid, useless, immature, selfish, spoiled, lazy, nothing. Rejection. And the rejection I felt from God? Well, that was just soul-crushing. I let this become my identity for a long time.
I definitely had given all of the power to the devil. And he had a hay day with it. I still prayed daily, read my Bible on occasion, but I still didn’t understand what it meant to be a Christian. To belong to Christ.
Someone who became a mentor to me urged me to go to church. He said it didn’t matter which one. I know now that’s because he knew the Holy Spirit can meet you anywhere. The sermon was on God as our Father. Earthly fathers will let us down; some more than others. But I have a Father, YOU have a Father who is perfect in every way and He loves us more than our minds can even comprehend. I wept in the left corner in the back of that sanctuary as the pastor preached life into my heart.
I had been so deeply rejected by the earthly fathers given to me. I was very bitter about it, filled with resentment. I had never known God as our Father. And that day, when the Holy Spirit came into me, I have never felt more broken and whole in unison. What does that mean? How could I be broken and made whole at the same time? It was like all of the hurtful things I’d endured, I was able to see it all again. It kind of flashed before my eyes. But, this time, I was able to see these men who hurt me; they had their own demons they were fighting. I was just the target, but it was never really about me. And hearing how perfect of a Father I’ve really always had, well that just filled a void I had carried for twenty years. Knowing that when my heart was broken, His was breaking, too. But He would use this pain of mine for His glory.
So, you see, even though I let rejection define me for so long, it only took one sermon, one hour to wipe it all away and to see the actual layout of all that had happened. I was able to see the road that brought me to salvation. I defined myself in rejection and I acted out of that rejection, too. I was lead to a job that was a pretty far commute. But when I realized I needed a therapist, I went to Google searching for the closest one to work so I could go on my lunch break. That’s when I met the man who led me to Christ. I chose him merely based on location, but I know now that God had it all planned out.
I’m now able to see some purpose in the pain I’ve endured. Because I lived through it, my daughters will never wonder who Christ is. They will never doubt that God loves them, if I can help it. And if I had to walk that path to set them up on a brighter one; so be it. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s giving my rejection power to the One who has resurrection power.
“And that’s giving my rejection power to the One who has resurrection power.”
So, you, my dear, reading this: I know you’ve been rejected. Maybe once. Maybe countless times. I know you’ve been hurt. Don’t give the evil one the power over that pain. We think we know what we want. But our desires are limited by what we can see. And God’s choices for us, our yes or no answers, they’re based on what He can see. And I think I trust His vision more than my own!
I want you to rest in who God says you are. You are:
the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13)
the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
a disciple-maker (Matthew 28:19)
a friend of Jesus (John 15:15)
God’s witness (Acts 1:8)
deeply loved (Romans 5:8)
washed, sanctified, and justified (1 Corinthians 6:11)
a temple for the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19)
a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
a child of God (Galatians 3:26)
chosen (Ephesians 1:4)
an adopted child of God (Ephesians 1:5)
redeemed (Ephesians 1:7)
sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13)
spiritually alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5)
God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)
created in the likeness of God (Ephesians 4:24)
a citizen of Heaven (Philippians 3:20)
forgiven and clean (1 John 1:9)
Bring that pain to God. He knows you are dealing with it and it hurts Him very deeply when you’re hurting. Go to Him, trust Him. Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” John 13:7.
If you haven’t accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, please send me a message. Send a Christian friend a message. Go to a local church. Pray! God wants you. He loves and adores you and wants to reveal Himself to you. I urge you to take that first step. I did years ago…and it changed my life. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. God wants you. Once you are in Christ, the old you is dead and gone. You are a new creation. I want that for you! And seriously, friend. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me. We aren’t meant to do this alone (Proverbs 27:17).
