Blog

This contains part of my personal testimony.  It’s taken me a lot of strength and faith to open myself up to share my story!  Hang in there with me.  I think you’ll find it very helpful.

I was just pondering the other day of how powerful a tool rejection is for the evil one.  I looked back over my life at the power rejection has had over me.  Over who I’ve been.  I got to thinking.  The power over our rejection belongs to whomever we give it to.  When I was a child, I didn’t know any better, and I let the evil one have it.  And rejection and I have always been very close enemies.

When I was a very young child, my father walked away from me.  I know a little bit of his reasoning, but since he’s passed, I can’t know for sure.  I longed for my father, but he always had an excuse to not see me, though he lived less than twenty miles from me.

My step-father came into the picture when I was just three-years old.  Enter constant rejection.  Name-calling, insults, no true affection, bursts of rage, drinking, and the list goes on.  I needed someone to take on the father role for me, someone to show me who I was.  Rejection.

Over the years through my misery and countless sleepless nights, I prayed and prayed for God to rescue me.  For my mom to leave him.  For him to crash into a tree when he was driving intoxicated at night. (I know, it’s awful.  I was a desperate child, filled with hatred).  Nothing.  Now, I didn’t know much about God.  I didn’t really have anyone to teach me His ways.  I always knew He was there, though.  I’ve never questioned that.  But when I didn’t get the answer to my prayers, I figured He didn’t care about me.  All the things I’d been told must be true.  Stupid, useless, immature, selfish, spoiled, lazy, nothing.  Rejection.  And the rejection I felt from God?  Well, that was just soul-crushing.  I let this become my identity for a long time.

I definitely had given all of the power to the devil.  And he had a hay day with it.  I still prayed daily, read my Bible on occasion, but I still didn’t understand what it meant to be a Christian.  To belong to Christ.

Someone who became a mentor to me urged me to go to church.  He said it didn’t matter which one.  I know now that’s because he knew the Holy Spirit can meet you anywhere.  The sermon was on God as our Father.  Earthly fathers will let us down; some more than others.  But I have a Father, YOU have a Father who is perfect in every way and He loves us more than our minds can even comprehend.  I wept in the left corner in the back of that sanctuary as the pastor preached life into my heart.

I had been so deeply rejected by the earthly fathers given to me.  I was very bitter about it, filled with resentment.  I had never known God as our Father.  And that day, when the Holy Spirit came into me, I have never felt more broken and whole in unison.  What does that mean? How could I be broken and made whole at the same time?  It was like all of the hurtful things I’d endured, I was able to see it all again.  It kind of flashed before my eyes.  But, this time, I was able to see these men who hurt me; they had their own demons they were fighting.  I was just the target, but it was never really about me.  And hearing how perfect of a Father I’ve really always had, well that just filled a void I had carried for twenty years.  Knowing that when my heart was broken, His was breaking, too.  But He would use this pain of mine for His glory.

So, you see, even though I let rejection define me for so long, it only took one sermon, one hour to wipe it all away and to see the actual layout of all that had happened.  I was able to see the road that brought me to salvation.  I defined myself in rejection and I acted out of that rejection, too.  I was lead to a job that was a pretty far commute.  But when I realized I needed a therapist, I went to Google searching for the closest one to work so I could go on my lunch break.  That’s when I met the man who led me to Christ.  I chose him merely based on location, but I know now that God had it all planned out.

I’m now able to see some purpose in the pain I’ve endured.  Because I lived through it, my daughters will never wonder who Christ is.  They will never doubt that God loves them, if I can help it.  And if I had to walk that path to set them up on a brighter one; so be it.  I’d do it again in a heartbeat.  And that’s giving my rejection power to the One who has resurrection power.

“And that’s giving my rejection power to the One who has resurrection power.”

So, you, my dear, reading this: I know you’ve been rejected.  Maybe once.  Maybe countless times.  I know you’ve been hurt.  Don’t give the evil one the power over that pain.  We think we know what we want.  But our desires are limited by what we can see.  And God’s choices for us, our yes or no answers, they’re based on what He can see.  And I think I trust His vision more than my own!

I want you to rest in who God says you are.  You are:

the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13)

the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)

a disciple-maker (Matthew 28:19)

a friend of Jesus (John 15:15)

God’s witness (Acts 1:8)

deeply loved (Romans 5:8)

washed, sanctified, and justified (1 Corinthians 6:11)

a temple for the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19)

a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)

a child of God (Galatians 3:26)

chosen (Ephesians 1:4)

an adopted child of God (Ephesians 1:5)

redeemed (Ephesians 1:7)

sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13)

spiritually alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5)

God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)

created in the likeness of God (Ephesians 4:24)

a citizen of Heaven (Philippians 3:20)

forgiven and clean (1 John 1:9)

Bring that pain to God.  He knows you are dealing with it and it hurts Him very deeply when you’re hurting.  Go to Him, trust Him.  Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” John 13:7.

If you haven’t accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, please send me a message.  Send a Christian friend a message.  Go to a local church.  Pray!  God wants you.  He loves and adores you and wants to reveal Himself to you.  I urge you to take that first step.  I did years ago…and it changed my life.  It doesn’t matter what you’ve done.  God wants you.  Once you are in Christ, the old you is dead and gone.  You are a new creation.  I want that for you!  And seriously, friend.  Don’t hesitate to reach out to me.  We aren’t meant to do this alone (Proverbs 27:17).

John 11:25-26 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

Have you ever wondered why Christians call Good Friday “good”?  It seems a little odd since Jesus died on the cross that day.  Good Friday is good because the work Jesus did on the cross paid off a debt we owe but could never pay back.  Because of His actions, we are saved.  Oh, and that is GREAT news, right?!

Jesus kept His word that day.  The first way is what He said in Matthew 20:18-19: “See, we are going up to Jerusalem.  And the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn him to death and deliver him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day.”  Also, in Matthew 26:2: “You know that after two days the Passover is coming, and the Son of Man will be delivered up to be crucified”.  And He was crucified, as He’d said. Mocked and scorned, deserving none of it.

What incredible love He has for us.  As He said later in Matthew 26:41, His spirit was willing to take the suffering for us, but the reality of it taunted His flesh.  He was willing to go through all the pain and humiliation because He knew it was the only way He could be with us for eternity.

The other way Jesus kept His word is from Matthew 24:1-2 when He was telling His disciples about the temple being destroyed.  Jesus left the temple and was going away, when his disciples came to point out to him the buildings of the temple.  “You see all these, do you not? Truly I say to you, there will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down.” This came to pass in Matthew 27:51: And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom.  And the earth shook, and the rocks were split.

We have so many examples of Jesus keeping His word to us.  A promise from Him is most certainly trustworthy.  We know He did this work on the cross for us, for our eternal salvation.  We know that He did it out of love, and that He, too, was fearful of the struggle.  He could have come down from the cross at any moment, as He had the power.  But He didn’t.  He chose us.  Isn’t that good?  It’s more than good, it’s amazing love!

In Matthew 20:19, Jesus tells the disciples that He will die on the cross, but He will rise again on the third day.  Another promise kept.  Jesus defeated death for all of us in those days before He rose again.  His love and power should inspire absolute awe in all of us believers.  It’s up to us to be sure His time on the cross and defeating death was not wasted.  Now is always the right time to repent of sin and follow Him into eternity.  We simply can’t afford to have a lukewarm faith after all He’s done for us.

So, we lead by example, imitating Jesus’ love and forgiveness.  We live a righteous life and walk with the Spirit.  This life ends all too soon, but the next one goes on for eternity.  Which one are you living for?  He chose you.  Will you choose Him?

James 1:5-7 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.  But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.   For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

Last year, I made a decision that I was 100% sure God guided me toward.  It didn’t make sense to me at the time and I put that decision off for quite some time.  But, in that moment, when I had asked God for guidance, I received it and believed it.  Even when it didn’t make sense to me.  Recently, I started doubting if that choice was the right choice.  That move I made, when I was absolutely certain it was God’s will, and over a year later I’m starting to doubt God’s words to me.  That’s when God gave me a wake-up call.

I was meditating in my room, as I often do; asking God to guide me and share with me anything I need to hear.  That’s when it hit me.  I saw the word in HUGE letters across my mind – DOUBT.  And then I heard it.  “Why do you doubt me?”  That’s all I heard.  And all I needed to.  I thought I was doubting myself, my choices.  But, in reality, I was doubting God’s will.  Wow.  Talk about feeling an inch tall.

Over the next few days, I studied doubt and started reflecting on myself.  I have doubted myself for years and years; my whole life really.  I would be sure of a decision, then go backward out of fear I’d made the wrong choice.  That’s when the above verse came to me in my reading.  I looked back over my life.  You know what I saw?  Myself, being tossed around in the ocean because of the wind and waves.  Never with a clear path, never going the same direction.  Just haphazardly strewn about, limbs flying around endlessly.  This is when I made the decision to dump my doubt.

Have you ever had a problem with doubt?  Being uncertain and confused?  I’m sure you have, but think about that for a moment.  In these times, we have to do two things:

1. Realize doubt is NOT from God.  God is NOT a God of confusion.
2. Ask God for clarity and direction.

1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.

Doubt is not from God, but from the evil one.  In my case, he knows that when I doubt, I retract, I go back and try to undo steps I’ve taken.  This always leads me away from God and His plan for me.  What a delight that is to the devil!  But I’m not living to give delight to him, I am living to give delight to the Lord; to trust Him and His plans for me.  Even when I can’t make sense of it.  Because my mind is so, so small compared to His knowledge and wisdom.  His plans are way better than anything I can come up with on my own.  I urge you to trust that in your own walk as well.  God knows so much more than we could ever dream of knowing.  Trust Him.  Walk with Him.  Don’t give in to fear or doubt.  Trust that when you’ve received His guidance, it truly is for your good and no matter how crazy it seems, He has a plan for you.  For all of us.

I made this decision to drop my guilt last week sometime and already I’m surrounded by this peace, this incredible feeling I’ve never known. I don’t know what tomorrow holds.  But, you know what?  I don’t need to.  For the first time in my life, I’m taking life one day at a time, trusting in His daily provision.  It’s an incredible feeling.  And I pray that you, Christian, can know this peace as well.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Ask Him to renew your faith and He will.  He absolutely will.  Because He loves you and wants nothing more than your trust.

Prayer:  God, I know my doubts have given the enemy power over my life.  Please forgive me for doubting your plans for me, your love for me, and your guidance in my life.  Please help me to push the voice of the enemy out of my mind; protect my mind and heart by stamping your Word upon them.  Help me to trust you day by day, not obsessing about what the final outcome will be.  Help me, Father, to grow in my faith, to make you proud, to live the life you want for me.  I pray in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Feel free to save these images to your phone, laptop, Facebook, Instagram, whatever will help you to keep it fresh in your mind that God desires His peace for you.

 

 

 

Ephesians 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

This is a verse I see a lot of people struggle with.  The thought that there is nothing we can do to ensure our salvation is a scary one.  But it is also a very humbling and comforting thought.

If we dissect this verse a bit, we find that through our faith we are saved by God’s grace.  Paul tells us this grace comes to us, not because of anything we did or didn’t do, but is is a gift from God.  Have you ever thought that you don’t deserve this gift from God?  I struggled with this for a long time.

I could look at the people in my church and think, He is forgiven, she is forgiven, they are forgiven.  But how can God forgive me?  The truth is, if you have faith in the Father and the Son, you ARE forgiven.  I am forgiven.  It doesn’t matter what I’ve done.  I’ve committed some whopper sins, folks.  Some real doozies.  The truth is, I don’t know what sins these other people have committed.  And it doesn’t matter.

And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

Have you ever thought to yourself, “This salvation thing is great for some people, but I haven’t done anything that bad”?  The Bible clearly tells us we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).  Jesus himself tells us if you look at someone with lust, you commit adultery (Matthew 5:28).  If you hate someone, you are a murderer (1 John 3:15).

Trust me.  You need this gift.  I need this gift.  Don’t refuse a gift from God.  Think of it this way: If a friend came over and presented you with a gift, would you refuse it?  Of course not!  That would be rude.  It would hurt his/her feelings.  How much more does it hurt God when we refuse a gift that cost Him so much to be able to give us?  He watched His perfect Son be beaten, ridiculed, and murdered, all to save even the ones who contributed to His murder.  Can you imagine the pain He felt watching this happen to His child?

Don’t deny God the pleasure of gifting you with salvation.  He loves you.  So much so, that He took on human form and came into this world knowing what would happen.  And He did this to spend an eternity with you.  You are worth it to God, our Father.  You are worth saving.  You are so loved.  And your sins are not powerful enough to change that fact.

If you are ready to receive this gift, talk to someone.  Send me a message.  Don’t let it slip away.  Take this gift before it is too late.  If you would like to claim this gift, pray the following Sinner’s Prayer:

Father God, I have spent too much of my life walking without you.  It has led only to misery.  I want to walk through this life together with you; pleasing you along the way with my thoughts and actions. 

I am a sinner.  And I know that my sins can only be forgiven through your Son, Jesus Christ.  God, I accept your generous gift of forgiveness and ask Jesus Christ to come into my heart and make me new. 

Show me the things I need to change to be more like you.  Grant me your wisdom and discernment as I read your Word and congregate with other Christians.  Protect me from the evil one on this journey, Lord.  

I thank you so much for all you’ve done for me, out of love.  Please grant me your Holy Spirit to guide me.  I have so much love for you and I want to share it with the world.  Please help me be bold and confident.

I pray this all in the name of Jesus Christ, my Savior.  Amen.